Skyrim + Marriage

Last month, my wife started playing Skyrim and has taken to it quite well. Years ago, she used to play Oblivion with God Mode on, but this time around she's actually playing through the game as a mortal. In fact, she's taken it one step further and designed a back story for her heroic Dark Elf character with the soul of a "Dova."

Okay, I need to give her a little slack. It's not like she sat around with parchment and quill. She was complaining about being unable to afford a new piece of armor. Being the helpful sort of husband, I suggested that she join the Thieves Guild or Dark Brotherhood to earn a little extra coin. Each time I suggested this, she passionately exclaimed, "No!" Finally, I asked her, "Why not?"

With her best matter-of-fact voice, she replied, "Well, Artemis is a good Dark Elf girl raised by her father, a self-taught mage, and her mother, a devout Priestess of the Nine. They raised her to live a wholesome, honest life."

Surprised by the depth of her response, I needled her further. "If she's so honest, how'd she get arrested outside Skyrim?"

Without missing a beat, she explained, "Artemis' father always dreamed of going to the College at Winterhold, but never could afford it. Once he saw his daughter's gift for magic, he gave up his dreams and earned enough to send her to the college in his stead. She was making the journey when ended up in the middle of the Imperial Legion's trap for the Stormcloak rebels."

Her story continued to grow the more I pried. Apparently Artemis also had a brother who was killed by the Thalmor for openly worshiping Talos. Also, her mother once worshiped the Daedric prince Azura, but repented and became a priestess of the Nine once her daughter was born.

I'll be honest, I was shocked by how detailed she made this story, especially since it was completely spontaneous! She then turned the tables on me and asked me to explain the back story of my character, the leader of the Dark Brotherhood AND the Thieves Guild. I took a second, then looked her straight in the eyes.

"Well, Undyne was an orphaned Nord who was raised by wolves. He was particularly hungry, one day, when he spotted a tasty looking Dark Elf mage girl on her way to the College at Winterhold..."

"You're just the worst kind of person," she replied.

"I know."